


It's Too Cliche, I Won't Say It

by I_stole_a_cannon



Series: Jedi's Guide to Love, Loss, and Desperation [11]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: more medics!, please stop having Anakin shot at, you are not immune to Skywalker nonsense
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-29
Updated: 2020-03-29
Packaged: 2021-02-28 20:41:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,242
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23383207
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/I_stole_a_cannon/pseuds/I_stole_a_cannon
Summary: Caledance gets called to deal with Skywalker's many injuries a lot.ORThe five times Anakin Skywalker got shot and the one time his medic did.
Series: Jedi's Guide to Love, Loss, and Desperation [11]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1328081
Comments: 1
Kudos: 26





	It's Too Cliche, I Won't Say It

**Author's Note:**

> First person to make an "you are not immune to propaganda" image but with "you are not immune to Skywalker Nonsense" gets a cookie. anyway this is a lil self indulgent and I've peppered hints as to Caledance's home planet (or home system at least.) Have fun, enjoy. May quarantine not treat you awfully.

The first time Caledance had been specifically called in to deal with an Skywalker injury, he’d been out getting information out of a criminal.

She had been pulled from a different case, some younglings had managed to scrape themselves up on the library’s carpet and she was helping Burns with them, he never did well with the younglings all things considered, so Caledance always made sure she was around when he did. Hawks had come in saying that Ahsoka had been asking her, so she shifted her attention from a younglings minor injury to whatever injury Ahsoka could’ve possibly gotten as a padawan in any number of active warzones.    


So her surprise must’ve read on her face when Ahsoka looked perfectly fine, but Anakin Skywalker was laying on her table. 

“What the—“

“An informant shot him, he’s fine mostly,” Ahsoka explained.

“I’m fine!” Anakin said from the table

“But I don’t want Hawks disassembled, so I asked for you,” Ahsoka said. Caledance rolled her eyes, this felt absurd. Not Skywalker being injured, that was standard. But Ahsoka having to ask for her felt weird. She shook her head, she had just spent too much time with Alyrisa and was being paranoid, Ahoska would have no way of knowing… outside of the general condition of Skywalker Nonsense. 

“Alright, in to the back with you then,” she said as she moved the table he was on. “I’ll be out with him in a bit.”

“Alright, I’ll go tell Kenobi,” Ahsoka replied.

“Do not tell Obi Wan, he won’t let me hear the end of it,” Anakin protested.

“Too late!” Ahsoka said, leaving the medbay. Caledance chuckled a little but dragged his table into her small corner of the medbay. 

“What was it this time Skywalker?” She asked. Anakin chuckled as he moved his hand off his shoulder to reveal where the blaster bolt had hit him.

“I went looking for information regarding some weapons movements,”

“And?”   


“And I must’ve pissed the guy off. Because next thing I know I’m hit and Ahsoka’s parrying blasts.” He said. Caledance glared slightly as she fished out a bacta pad.

“Move your robes,” She said. Anakin did as he was told, shifting them enough so she could put the pad on him. “Have you tried not getting shot at by informants?” She asked as she ignored his exposed collarbones, feeling like the lead in a bad holosoap as she did. 

“I would love to not be shot by informants.” Anakin said with a chuckle. “But unfortunately, work requires otherwise.” He said. Caledance let out a sigh, he was right of course. Even with a war going on he was always going to end up shot at by someone or another.

“Can you at least lessen the frequency?” She asked. “That should be manageable right?”   
“No promises,”

“Don’t promise then,”

“Alright, a dedicated effort will be made to be shot less.” He said. 

“Thank you.” Caledance said. She pulled the patch off so as to not aggravate his skin. “Now go get yelled at by Kenobi.” She said with a chuckle.

“You’d love that wouldn’t you,”

“You? Facing consequences for your recklessness? Absolutely.” Caledance said. “Now go,” she said with a smile on her features. Anakin stood up and walked away but briefly hung off the doorframe.

“Thanks Cal,”

“Just doing my job Skywalker.”

* * *

The second time Caledance was asked to take care of a Skywalker injury, a very frantic Heleilei had come in first.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry!” She exclaimed as the Rodian came barreling into the medbay.

“Hey, hey, Slow down Leils, what’s going on?”

“Just a minor training mishap Cal,” Anakin said as he held the side of his arm.

“Master Skywalker I shot you,” Heleilei said, clearly feeling guilty about it. Caledance glared at Anakin.

“She did  _ what?” _

“The younglings were doing a bit of blaster practice and I trusted them enough to shoot off stun mode.” He said. Caledance had to take a deep breath and pinched the bridge of her nose.

“Leils, grab a pop and head back to training, I’ll send Master Skywalker back in a bit.” She said. As soon as the youngling was out of the room Caledance hit Anakin.

“Ow! Hey!”   


“Skywalker what were you thinking!” She hissed.

“I figured there was only so much they could learn with stun on, and I didn’t expect any of them to be an accurate enough shot to hit me!” Anakin countered. Caledance rolled her eyes.

“Oh yeah, give the incredibly force sensitive Rodian a blaster and expect not to get hit.” She said as she went over to the supplies and fished out a bacta patch. She put it on his arm and ignored when he hissed after she put a  _ little _ too much pressure on it. She was trying really hard to not be mad at him, but this was the stupidest injury he’d ever come in for. This was dumb even by Skywalker standards. And because he was who he was, Caledance would patch him up and just wait for his next injury. “You come in for anything that stupid again, and I’ll slap you.” She said. 

“I wasn’t planning on coming here, it was Heleilei’s idea, she was so frantic about having shot a master, that she insisted that I come here and see you.” He said. Caledance found herself glaring at the door. She had a sneaking suspicion it was a little more than “just an innocent accident.” Curse Heleilei for knowing more than she should. “Cal?” Anakin said. Caledance shook her head and turned to him which got him to chuckle slightly. “You were glaring at the door like it’d murdered a Loth Kitten in front of you.” 

“Sorry… got caught on a train of thought.” She muttered. “Get out of here, I’ve got holowork I’ve got to do.” She said.

“Can do Cal, thanks for the patch.” He said. Anakin stood up and shot her a smile as he left the space. Caledance let out a sigh and put the back of her hand to her cheek to make sure it wasn’t warm. 

* * *

The third time Caledance was asked to take care of a Skywalker injury he had the decency to not actually be the cause of the injury. Obi Wan Kenobi was holding his former padawan as they came into the med bay. He quickly found it was a zoo, with patients everywhere, and at least one in the tank. Caledance came out from a side room, leading a small Twi’lek girl back to one of her parents. She turned to the two Jedi and glared. 

“Kenobi I’ll be with you in a minute, it’s open house day.” She said. Kenobi nodded and sat the both of them down. Caledance summoned a Nautolan youngling into the back and the duo waited. 

“Where’s Hawks?” Anakin asked. 

“More importantly, where’s Burns?” Obi Wan quickly followed up. There was no sign of either 2-1B medical droids anywhere, and both Jedi silently feared the worst: that they had finally managed to throw each other down the garbage shoot. Caledance came out again after ushering the Nautolan youngling back to the creche with a pop for his troubles. 

“Alright, Skywalker, Kenobi come on back.” She said. Kenobi supported Anakin getting up and went into the back room. The space looked like it’d been ransacked by Jawas and both Jedi were mildly terrified to ask what had happened. “So what has Skywalker managed to do to himself this time?” She asked with far more anger in her voice than either were used to.

“I can’t actually be blamed for this injury,” Anakin said with a smirk. Caledance raised her eyebrows as she fished out the necessary supplies. 

“Color me impressed, so I assume Master Kenobi is to be blamed then?” She asked glaring at the older Jedi.

“A friendly sparring session got a little out of hand,” Obi Wan said. 

“You know they typically recommend using the training sabers for such sessions.” Caledance said with a glare. 

“With the rise of Sith running around, we figured we should be prepared for being struck with a saber.” Anakin said. Caledance glared at him with a look that read that she didn’t buy it. 

“Master Kenobi, you’re welcome to wait outside, I’ll have him patched up in a minute.” She said. Obi Wan nodded and left the space. Caledance started work on cleaning the wound and prepping to stick a bacta patch on it. Anakin noted her silence and the waves of frustration coming off of her, some of which he didn’t think he had anything to do with. 

“So I’m afraid to ask, but where are Hawks and Burns?” He asked as he looked around the ransacked space. Caledance let out a sigh and looked at him and he realized the real emotion she was trying to deal with was exhaustion. 

“They’re the reason this space looks like this. Burns got up in Hawks grill about something and they started trying to laser each other’s main arm off. Not to mention trying to extract their main CPU unit, so I had to deactivate them to save myself from having to deal with two petulant toddlers. Maybe the reboot will do them some good.” She explained as she put the patch on his side. As she straightened up, she tried to not think too hard about how close it put them. She kept thinking she was going to get used to being close to Anakin if she had to keep patching up his wounds, but  _ no… _ the Force had other plans. 

“Entirely possible, you should take a break.” He said. Caledance chuckled and shook her head.

“No way, I’ve still got 3 patients to see today.” She said. “I’ll rest when I’ve cleared them.” Anakin let out a sigh and she felt it on the top of her head.

“You think that the Corps would be able to spare you someone.” He said.

“And yet, like always, here I am.” She replied. “You’re good to go, try using the training sabers next time, alright?” Anakin chuckled and pulled her into his side as he got off her table. 

“And miss seeing you? No way, but I’ll try.” He said. Caledance evened her breathing and rolled her eyes. 

“Go, I still have patients to see.” She said. Anakin chuckled and let her go, leaving the room and then the medbay. 

* * *

The fourth time Caledance was asked to deal with a Skywalker injury, she was being reminded why the worst place to be during a war was a hospital. 

The Council had asked her to do some work on the  _ Resolute _ during some upcoming campaigns. She hated to admit how easily she’d settled into the ship's small med bay. She was also mad about how, as much as the Council played it off as they were asking, she had a sneaking suspicion Anakin had done the actual asking. She did miss Hawks a bit as she settled into her supply counts, waiting for the wounded to come in from the latest skirmish. Caledance was a bit on edge, seeing as she knew almost everyone who had gone down to the fighting. The 501st, the 212th, and their reckless generals. She knew they had a medic down there, hoping that Kix would be able to hold anyone over until they got to her. She sorted her medical supplies for what felt like the fiftieth time, stuck in a holding pattern until the excitement came in. 

Kix came in first, with Fives being supported by Echo. She gestured where to put him for the time being. 

“How much should I be expecting?” She asked as she went over to the trooper. 

“Not too much sir, though you should do a general scan. Rex should be behind me.” Kix said. 

“Thank you Kix,” she said as she looked at Fives, he seemed to be mostly okay, except for the gash near his tattoo. Caledance was quick to clean it and then keep some bandages on it. She pulled out a scanner and hissed. “Dammit,” she muttered.

“What sir?” Fives asked.

“Well soldier, you’ve got a minor concussion. If I could get away with it, I wouldn’t let you fight anytime soon, but unfortunately this is a war.” She said, smiling at the clone with ease. She injected some pain relievers and set to worrying about what or who Rex would drag in. 

The Captain came in with his General looped over his shoulders looking a little worse for wear. 

“Dammit Skywalker!” Caledance exclaimed as she shuffled the general to the bed along with Rex’s help. “What’d he get into this time Rex?” She asked.

“He got nicked by blaster fire a bit. Then almost got blown up, and managed to save more men by doing it.” Rex said. Caledance let out a deep sigh, of course he was doing something noble so she couldn’t get as angry as she wanted to be with him. 

“Thank you Rex, I’ll give you an update shortly, Where is the 212th?” She asked. 

“Sir?”   


“I’d like to do an assessment on the 212th and their general, I haven’t seen any of them. I’m assuming they’re back already.” She said.

“I’ll make sure they make their way to you.” Rex said.

“Thank you Rex,” Caledance said with a tired smile as she turned to Anakin Skywalker, looking almost like a tank had run him over. She broke into the Bacta patches, muttering about how this ship of all the ships in the fleet should  _ really  _ have a full tank. “When you come to Skywalker, you’re in for  _ such  _ an earful…” she muttered as she started applying patches. They settled on his skin and she was running her fingers across his hairline, an effort to figure out if the clumps in his hair (which in her honest opinion was still far too soft for someone who just came off a battlefield) were his own blood from a head wound or machine gunk from the droids and ships. Blue eyes blinked open and were surprised to find Caledance in his hair. He figured he shouldn’t let her know yet, she’d get clinical and huffy, and he didn’t need that yet. So he simply watched as she went through his hairline, looking for any injury.

“Blood or machine parts, blood or machine parts…” she muttered.

“Mix of both probably.” Anakin said and to his expectation Caledance jumped, her chest heaving as she came down from the initial scare. Anakin chuckled a little.

“Dammit Skywalker, did you _ have  _ to do that?” She asked as a glare replaced her former gaze of perhaps mild fondness.

“Have to? No. Want to? Strong yes. Sorry Cal,”

“You can’t just “sorry Cal” me! You almost gave me a heart attack, I still have the 212th to look at.” She said.

“Isn’t there a droid you can delegate some of this to?” 

“Yeah, he’s currently spot checking my work on the 501st and helping Kix refill his supplies.” Caledance explained. “And if he doesn’t see any of the members of the 212th by the time I’m done, then I’m going to track down both it’s commander and then its general and tear him a new one.”

“Oh I would pay to see that,”

“I’m sure you would, now get out of here, I’ve got clones to take care of.” She said. Anakin chuckled.

“You’re gonna have to help me out with that,” he said. Caledance furrowed her brow but then remembered all of the bacta patches on his form. She helped him get an arm around her shoulder and helped him stand. “Thanks Cal, as always.”

“Just doing my job Skywalker.” She said.

“Yeah but no one does it better than you,”

“Yeah, yeah, just go make sure the 501st is okay.” She said. Anakin chuckled and left her. She waited for a minute or so before storming to find where the hell Commander Cody was.

* * *

The fifth time she had to deal with a Skywalker injury, Ahsoka had almost tackled her coming out of the med bay. Caledance was on her way to the sparring space to get some saber training in, when Ahsoka grabbed her arm and all but dragged her to the elevator.

“Something happened at the senate building, they want you there.” She said. Caledance nodded and the duo loaded into a speeder, zipping to the senate building in record time. The front of the building was a media circus and Caledance tried not to roll her eyes too hard as she and Ahsoka got out.    


“So what happened?” Caledance asked as she power walked toward the building. 

“There was an assassination attempt on Senator Taa.” Ahsoka said, having to jog to keep up. 

“Was anyone hurt?”

“Why do you think  _ I  _ fetched you?” Ahsoka asked. Caledance felt herself pale.

“You could’ve opened with that Ahsoka! What floor?” She asked.

“40th.” Ahsoka said. Caledance broke into a sprint as she ran for the elevator. She zipped up to the 40th floor and then sprinted down the hall where a small gathering of local authorities were. She felt her heart do a mix of her anxiety beat and her stress beat, which is to say it was on the verge of vaulting out of her chest. As she got closer to the group she felt her form tense.

“Move! Jedi Med Corps!” Caledance demanded. She could be a presence and a half when she needed to be and immediately people around her moved as she entered the suite. Anakin was sitting in a chair, being helped mildly by one of the Senate’s quick service med droids. He was looking at her, having heard her in the hall and tried to give her a smile that was greeted with a glare. “How are you getting shot in locations you shouldn’t even be in?” She asked as she strode over.

“I was discussing something with the Chancellor.” He said. Caledance took note that she hadn’t seen the Chancellor in the entire quest out of here.  _ No, stop being a Jedi, just be a medic _ . 

“Right, well, let me look at this wound.” She said. Without having to really ask, Anakin shifted his robes to reveal where the blaster bolt was.

“There are two more on my sides.”   


“Sniper shot three times?”    


“Inexperienced sniper,” he said.  _ Or he wasn’t going for a kill. _

“I’m chucking you in a tank when we get back to the temple.” She said. 

“I would expect nothing less. Can I at least walk out of here?” He asked.

“Out the back, trust me you don’t want to go out the front if you can avoid it, the place is a circus.” she said. Anakin nodded.

“Out the back then, tell--”

“I’ll tell Ahsoka you’re fine. I’m clearing you to drive, but if you don’t beat me to the temple,”

“I know, you’ll find me and stab me.” He said with a smile. “Thanks as always Cal.”   


“I’m just doing my job,”

“But no one does it like you,” he said as he gave her a small side hug, tapping his forehead to her temple, before disappearing out a side door. Caledance found herself needing to scream. She took a couple of deep breaths but then figured that she needed to go drive the speeder her and Ahsoka had taken there, so she headed back to the main elevator. She zipped back down and walked through the milling senators and their aids as she tried to find Ahsoka.

“Cal!” Ahsoka called out. Caledance whipped her head around and found Ahsoka discussing something with a senator. “Is he—“

“He’s fine, I’m chucking him in a tank when we get back to the temple.” Caledance said. She didn’t want to reveal more than she had to and found her brain and heart still reeling.

“Thank you,” the senator said. Caledance turned to her and if her heart and brain weren’t already spiralling, they would be now. The senator was the most beautiful woman Caledance had ever seen.

“Just… doing my job,” Caledance said with a small smile. “I’ve gotta go, I’ve given him enough of a headstart to properly throttle him if he comes in behind me.” She said trying to get out of the situation at hand.

“Right, it was good seeing you again Padmé.” Ahsoka said to the senator. Caledance took a deep breath.  _ Of course _ this was the famous Senator Amidala from Naboo. Of course she looked as if she could smile at you and you’d have the power to take on an army. Caledance would’ve run a hand through her hair if it wasn’t tied up. So she simply smiled and nodded and went for the speeder again, Ahsoka falling in step beside her, smirking all the while.

“Maker you’re a wreck,” Ahsoka joked.

“Shut up, or I’ll make you listen to Burns on repeat.”

* * *

The one time Anakin Skywalker had been called to deal with a Versay injury, she was supposed to be on a simple outreach mission to Sorgan. 

There was a thorough surprise that crossed his features as a message from Hawks got patched in through the temple. 

“What’s going on Hawks?” He asked. 

“Incoming comm from Versay,” the droid responded. Anakin accepted the message and there she was: her lightsaber ignited and constantly scanning the area. 

“Cal?”

“Skywalker, good, he got to you. Listen, I need to borrow a clone or six,” she said as she deflected some blaster bolts.

“Why, locals giving you trouble?” He asked. 

“No, three squadrons of droids with more on the way. And droidekas. So many droidekas.” She snapped as she deflected more bolts. Anakin let his features harden.

“I’m headed your way. Sorgan right?” He said.

“At least tell Kenobi you’re going, and yes.” She said. Her image was getting choppy. “Lacezal!” was the last thing he heard before the image cut out. 

“Hawks, with me.” He said.

The image cut out and Caledance let out a groan of frustration. “Dammit!” she yelled.

“They jammed the comms?” Lacezal asked. She was the only person currently helping in the fight, their commander had been killed when the droids had first arrived and while Caledance was trying not to be callous about a woman’s death, she did neglect Caledance’s warnings that there were droids coming their way. 

“Yeah, thankfully I managed to get something out,”

“Was it an SOS?” She asked. 

“No, I thought now was a  _ lovely _ time to update my calendar,” Cal snapped as she deflected two more bolts.

“Who’s coming,”

“The 501st.”  _ If we’re lucky.  _ Caledance knew she shouldn’t really be worried, she’d seen the face Anakin had pulled when she said she was pinned down. 

“Who’d you patch up?” Lacezal asked.

“A lot of people with a lot of pull, but we’ve gotta last until then.” Caledance said. “I’m going in, give me some cover.” She added.

“You’ll die,”

“It’ll be a scratch,” She said. “And I’d rather die out there then pinned here.” She added. Anakin was going to kill her for this and she knew it. Still, she was a saber fighter and a Med Corp member and a Jedi. She shifted her grip and jumped into the fray. She was slashing droids left, right, and center, blocking shots as she did. Droids were getting thrown together and she knew that it was Lacezal helping her. A graze nicked the top of her shoulder, another into her side. She slashed some more and was using her other hand to clear the road. A bolt to her shin, one to her other side. 

“Cal!” Lacezal yelled. Caledance nodded and jogged backward as she kept deflecting blaster bolts. She dove behind what the duo were using for cover, but not before another bolt hit her shoulder. She hissed in pain and tried to channel the force enough to get it stable. A roar of a gunship knocked her concentration briefly as more blaster fire joined the mix. 

“Sir!” She heard Rex yell. Anakin barreled around their cover and kneeled in front of Caledance. 

“Aren’t you supposed to be the one yelling about me not getting shot at?” He asked. 

“Didn’t know if you’d make it, figured it was the least I could do.” Caledance replied. Anakin groaned.

“C’mon, let’s get you to the gun ship. Rex,”

“On it,” Rex said as he helped Anakin get Caldance standing. Fives came over and helped cover Lacezal to get her out and soon enough the four were making a run for the gunship. Caledance was doing her best to keep her breathing even as she was hobbled onto the ship. As she got set down, Kix joined the mix and started applying the bacta patches. Anakin kneeled next to her as the patches started getting placed. 

“Looks like we’re gonna have matching scars Anakin,” she muttered. Anakin chuckled and offered his hand for her to squeeze as Kix started cleaning her shoulder wounds. She took it and tried to not let the pain cross too much.

“Seems like it,” he said. As Kix finished up and went to the other clones to figure out how injured they were, Anakin stayed at Caledance’s side.

“Thanks Anakin,” she said. He simply squeezed her hand and tapped his forehead to her temple.

“Just doing my job,”

“Yeah but no one does it like you do.” She said. 

  
  



End file.
